Friendship is voluntary. Have you
ever said, "some of my best friends
are..."? With this statement, you are
asking to explore the eleventh house of
the horoscope. This is what I call the place
of preferred friends. Sometimes, we spend
time with people whom we don't necessary
like. We work with or are in school with lots
of people we don't get close to. Even
though we may be friends with these
casual lunch mates, often we never prefer
them. Unless, that is, they fit your eleventh
house. By this I mean they have to be
"your type" to get the best treatment from
you.
Forced friendships seldom
lead to love: There are other sectors
of the horoscope which deal with the
people we have in our lives out of non-
choice or necessity. A 12th house
experience could be in your life; for
example, as a long hospital stay. In the
context of this experience, you might make
new friends, but not all of the helpers will
resonate with your 11th house. If you are
in military and corporate service you are
familiar with forced relationships. The
world is full of people that we might not
prefer, characters we are sure we cannot
love. Working with someone for 20 years
will never make them a preferred friend.
My clients ask about many relationships.
Some relationships have a power basis.
These are the people you depend on to
survive, like a check signing boss (10th
house, 6th house,) or a materially giving
friend (2nd house). I notice that people
are in constant power struggles with
others whom they depend on. Because of
the need to have food and shelter (4th
house survival) we cannot always have
our preferred ones with us. We must learn
to tolerate people whom we do not prefer.
However, forced relationships may never
turn to love. Love in captivity never works.
Real love flourishes in a climate of
respect for freedom and personal rights.
Love does not harm.
There are relationships that affect us, but
love does not harm us. If we are harmed
by a relationship, it is our doing, not love's
fault. We have allowed love to become
other than love, a painful joke. We have a
responsibility to love and not harm others.
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If someone fits your sector of preferred
people, you give them all the trust in the
world! You have activated their preference
for you. You have set off someone's altruism
alarm in the 11th house. When you discover
that you are their type, you can have power
over them.
Who do you want to be with?
Perhaps the power struggle is to just be set
free to see your favorite people. We meet
potential friends through chance, but keeping
a friend requires some matching of love styles.
The eleventh sector of the horoscope is a kind
of magic mirror. It contains the pictures of the
people you love for their own sake, the ones
who add value to your life. These people are
cherished by you. Perhaps you have them on
a pedestal, but nonetheless they are the
people you want in your life. They stand for
your kind of people.
People have different
motivations for love.
The fifth house, which is opposite to the 11th
house, is also about relationships and love.
The fifth house kind of love is the reproductive
biological kind of love. When looking at your
preferences through the magic mirror of your
chart, we see that you will love purely in the
11th house, and you will love lustily in the 5th.
So, the eleventh house is about the pure and
higher love we have for preferred people.
I have a problem with the fantasy of
unconditional love. It hearkens back to our
infantile desire to experience total
reconnection with the mother. If we are foolish
enough to project this infantile desire on our
mate, we deserve the wild ride that results.
Love is blind and stupid
sometimes. No one said love has to
make sense. I once had a friend in college for
whom I felt a strange, unnatural altruism. He
was unprepared for my adoring attentions,
and much less prepared for my assertion of
purity in that love. Logic dictates that if you
are fawning all over a man he expects to take
things to the fifth house of pleasure. After that,
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Consider what happens when someone loves
you, and they let you know it. You fit into their
sector of preferred people. Because of this
preference, they give you all the trust in
the world! It is a strong person who can
remain uncorrupted when someone likes
them. You have activated their preference for
you. You have set off someone's altruism
alarm in the 11th house. When you discover
that you are their type, you can have power
over them. You are in a position to lead them
around by their programmed desire. They will
trust certain types and not trust others. It has
nothing to do with you, you have simply
tripped the wire of their friendship perimeter.
You need to remain honest and moral when
dealing with people who like you.
Who do you want to be with?
Perhaps the power struggle is to just be set
free to see your favorite people. We may meet
potential friends through chance, but keeping
a friend requires some matching of love styles.
The eleventh sector of the horoscope is a kind
of magic mirror. It contains the pictures of the
people you love for their own sake, the ones
who add value to your life. These people are
cherished by you. Perhaps you have them on
a pedestal, but nonetheless they are the
people you want in your life. They stand for
your kind of people. They are as important as
life itself to us. Life would be awful without the
promise of rewarding love of our own choice.
People have different
motivations for love.
The fifth house, which is opposite from the
11th house, is also about relationships and
love. The fifth house kind of love is the
reproductive biological kind of love. When
looking at your preferences through the magic
mirror of your chart, we see that you will love
purely in the 11th house, and you will love
lustily in the 5th.
So, the eleventh house is about the pure and
higher love we have for preferred people.
I have a problem with the fantasy of
unconditional love. It hearkens back to our
infantile desire to experience total
reconnection with the mother. If we are foolish
enough to project this infantile desire on our
mate, we deserve the wild ride that results.
Immaturity carries it's own punishment. Failed
plans, lost money and broken hearts are a
symptom of trusting in an infantile way. Stop it,
you are hurting yourself!
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Love is blind and stupid
sometimes. No one said the
friendship vibe has to make sense. I
once had a friend for whom I felt a
strange, unnatural altruism, or
unconditional love. "Jimmie" was
unprepared for my adoring attentions,
and much less prepared for my
assertion of purity in that love. Logic
dictates that if you are fawning all
over a man he expects to take things
to the fifth house of pleasure. After
that, on to the seventh house, the
sector of marriage. However, I had
him enshrined in my 11th house, and
I could not consider carnal relations. I
remember we watched a movie
together, Carnal Knowledge. Some of
the racy scenes were like a signal for
the seduction to start, but lust was not
in the house. My irrational love had
confused and finally alienated my
target. Sometimes, people are not
ready to be preferred by anyone.
I have disappointed people by my
inability to prefer them. Everyone has
had this experience, from nursery
school on. Remember, we have
plenty of relationships which are
compulsory.
Special People
To keep our happiness level up, we
need special preferred people in our
lives, people we can relate to for the
pure joy of sharing. These true
friends can set an example of trust,
compassion, and humour. Friendship
is the area of life where we can show
the higher kind of love for another. A
different kind of love grows in
freedom. Compulsion, power struggle,
and manipulation must stay away
from our sector of preferred people.
To help your understand this subject
further, please look for the
astrological symbolism of Aquarius,
the Eleventh house. The 11th house
is associated with Aquarius; with the
age of Aquarius, new age love styles,
higher truth, fifth dimensional love.
Check out the connections!
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